im losing it

First few days/week after bringing Rigby home. I couldn't be happier with him. He is so sweet and cuddly. I absolutely adore him. I also still adore my stew bear ofc. they don't quite get along yet but it's a work in progress. Stewie spends most of his time upstairs now, with the help of a baby gate. This keeps him from getting to the cat if he's not supervised. We do little training sessions where they each get tons of treats and they do pretty well.

Stewie barks at Rigby all the time though, but we will get to a peaceful place.

My car is working now fingers crossed, I haven't had to jump start it in a few days so that's good. My job is still questionable, but I need the money. I'm overall pretty happy.

My health is still a concern, my stomach has been having more issues again lately and it makes me want to just ball up in bed with stewie and some water. I want to be under all my blankets in my air-conditioned room. Or on my couch watching supernatural which is my new favorite show.

My doctors' appointments are this week so hopefully I'll get some more tests done and get some answers.

The main reason I'm losing it, however, is the rats. My partner and I got two rats when he still lived with his parents, and I came over all the time. We then got a third one. They are such sweethearts but haven't been handled. One of them is a biter. When we moved, we got them a big new cage and put them all together and they fought a bit at first but are all family now. I make sure their food and water are full, but I don't clean their cage as often as I should. And when I do, I get crazy sneezy. I might be a bit allergic to them. They stay in a room with the door closed so Stewie doesn't bother them all day. They really don't have interaction with anyone but themselves. My partner brought up to me about rehoming them. And I won't lie I have been thinking about it. I do think it is the best option. It breaks my heart because I do love them, but I know I can't take care of them the way they deserve.

It makes me feel like a failure, but I take care of my stewie. I'm even failing at taking care of myself because i get myself sick and all worked up. I cant even get myself to brush my teeth sometimes. I am struggling and the rats don't deserve to be at the end of that. I am looking everywhere to try and find them a new home.

I'm having a minor meltdown about it right now and I don't have any friends to talk to. I do have friends I suppose but none of them ever text me first. I know this because i stopped texting first and haven't heard from them. I am lonely and tired. And my period is starting and i just want to go home.

I just hoped that writing about it would help a bit