lil update

as promised,

this is going to be a kind of public journal for me to talk about everything going on in my life. I bought a used car in April. it was perfect for a while then in stopped working right. i spent a week and half playing phone tag with the dealership to figure out how to fix it. Then I went to get it fixed and they said they couldn't, so I had to go to another place. then they said I had to come back the next day. That day was Friday. I had off from work and already had two doctors' appointments scheduled. They were fixing my car, and I was minding my business and my stomach started to hurt very bad. I chalked it up to anxiety about going to a new doctor. My car was "fixed" so I started to head to my appointment and two separate times at stop lights I opened my door and threw up outside my car while still sitting and then continued driving. Then I found a speedway and stopped. The women's bathroom was locked so I locked myself in the men's bathroom and proceeded to have the worst diarrhea and then threw up some more. then I decided to just go home. I rescheduled my appointments for the day and passed out on my couch. I am worried about my health along with worrying about how much more testing will cost. but I'll get through it.

I also went to my brother's high school graduation! I had a nice time, but my mother was there, and I have dropped contact with her. I wouldn't even look at her, but I felt so judged the entire time. There were also some people that had been in my graduating class that were there. I could've gone the rest of my life not seeing them again, but I'll manage. I am so glad that I moved away from that small town. Even if it's not even an hour away, I can go to a grocery store and see people that I don't know, and that don't know my entire family history. I'm also realizing how immature people are. I used to think I was petty and couldn't think for myself. But some people are truly incapable. I have started stating things how I see it and what I truthfully think is going on. I'm very rarely wrong, but no one listens. SO i'm just going to stop sharing. It's not worth my energy. I'm also going to stop texting first fro the most part. Because there is no reason, I should be feeling a certain way about waiting for a text from someone that is supposed to be my friend.

I got a new kitty cat. His name is Rigby. Stewie is not the biggest fan of him, but we are making progress. I officially have my associate's degree in psychology! Not that it's going to do me much good, I need to have a bachelor's to really see a pay difference in this field. So, I am looking into other jobs. Just looking for now seeing if anything might work. My partner and I have been paycheck to paycheck the past few weeks and I want to make more so I can support us a more equal amount to what he does.

I've just been doing my best. I haven't had my Lexapro for a few days and was really starting to feel it. But writing here definitely helps me to feel like I'm doing something.